Welcome back for the second installment in my “Playing House Series”. This series is all about moving in with a significant other. My first post was all about making the big decision to move in with a significant other in the first place! You can find that here.
I am currently in the process of moving in with my fiancee Nick, so this series is really all about my take and my personal experience with these matters. Actually, the day this post is published is the day of the BIG MOVE!
Ok, enough with the introduction! Let’s get on to to the topic of this post! Ok, you guys made the massive, super adult decision to move in together and now it’s time to decide where!!
This can be a very tricky decision to make if you don’t live super close or if one of you is particularly attached to your apartment/house. It’s a discussion that has to be made calmly and with an open mind. You can go into the conversation with a desired outcome, but if you are not willing to listen or to compromise, this can be quite difficult. It’s very important to go into this discussion with an open mind.
Now I cannot sit here and give you the pros and cons of your place versus his place because obviously I don’t know your situation! This is a list for you to come up and be realistic about it! Sit down and look at your place from both your perspective and your significant other’s perspective and try to do the same for his place as well! It’s always important to try to look at it from their perspective, which can be difficult!
When Nick and I had the initial discussion about where we were going to live I made a list about all of the financial reasons why my apartment made the most sense, not even considering there is a lot more to this situation than finances. Sometimes the living arrangement that makes the most financial sense, isn’t the correct answer. His place was not an option, because he lives in New York City and parking is NOT fun over there and I need a car to get to work. We ended up with option C: a spanking new place for the both of us!
Here are some things to consider when deciding where you should live together as a couple:
*Finances- Is one apartment, or a new apartment more fiscally responsible? That’s something to consider
*Distance- A central location for both of your jobs is definitely preferable.
*Size- Be realistic. Minimalism may be trendy right now, but if you aren’t a minimalist don’t try to squeeze all of your stuff AND their stuff into a studio.
*Comfort- This is a BIG one! Are you truly comfortable at his place? Is he truly comfortable at your place? We aren’t talking about spending a weekend here- we are talking about spending YEARS! If one of you isn’t truly comfortable or feel as if you can’t truly be yourself, it’s time to look for an alternative solution.
*Future Goals- will getting a new apartment hinder a common future goal of yours? Definitely something to keep in mind
*Time frame- how long do you plan on staying? If the realistic plan is a short period of time it may not make sense to relocate both of you