Playing House Series: Pre-Move in Talks

    You’ve decided to move in together! You picked the perfect spot! So you should just start packing right? Wrong!!
    There’s a lot of conversations to have before you move in together.  It’s important to work these things out prior to the move as it will definitely help to prevent a lot of stress and possibly even a lot of fights later on.

   Here are some of the pre-move in convos I recommend having:

  • Paying the bills- How is it going to work?  Is it going to be an even split?  Are you going to pay the rent, while he covers the rest of the utilities?  These are important decisions to make prior to the first bills rolling in.  Also, be honest about what you can afford!
  • What you’re bringing, what he’s bringing- Imagine moving in together and you both brought a couch or you move in and see he packed that leather chair that you just hate.  Prior to moving in it’s important to discuss what you’re bringing and also what you plan on getting rid of.  Prior to moving in with my fiancee I had to get rid of SO much stuff that I couldn’t believe I accumulated over the years.  It may be difficult, but also probably necessary.
  • The new items you plan on buying- There might be a few new large items that you guys need to purchase.  This is your chance to start crafting your living style as a couple.  Do some shopping around and don’t break the budget
  • Chores- This may sound like a ridiculous conversation for 2 adults to have, but a necessary one I think.  One person cannot and should not clean an entire house or apartment all of the time.  I’m not saying make a chore chart like from back in the day, but have a discussion.
  • Routines- I’m sure you’ve had a lot of sleepovers, but sleepovers and living together are 2 totally different ideas.  If you’re someone who falls asleep early or needs to make their own morning coffee or have 10 minutes to themselves after getting home let your significant other know ahead of time.
  • “House rules”- Boys night in on a Thursday when you have work the next day? Having your sister over for Real Housewives every night?  Your usual routine of having friends over all of the time or having your parents come over whenever they want is going to have to change.  You have someone else to think about now.
What other conversations did you have before moving in with someone?  Or did you skip the convos altogether? 

Playing House Series: Your Place? His Place? Our Place?

        Welcome back for the second installment in my “Playing House Series”.  This series is all about moving in with a significant other.  My first post was all about making the big decision to move in with a significant other in the first place!  You can find that here.

    I am currently in the process of moving in with my fiancee Nick, so this series is really all about my take and my personal experience with these matters.  Actually, the day this post is published is the day of the BIG MOVE!

  Ok, enough with the introduction!  Let’s get on to to the topic of this post!  Ok, you guys made the massive, super adult decision to move in together and now it’s time to decide where!!

   This can be a very tricky decision to make if you don’t live super close or if one of you is particularly attached to your apartment/house.  It’s a discussion that has to be made calmly and with an open mind.  You can go into the conversation with a desired outcome, but if you are not willing to listen or to compromise, this can be quite difficult.  It’s very important to go into this discussion with an open mind.

   Now I cannot sit here and give you the pros and cons of your place versus his place because obviously I don’t know your situation!  This is a list for you to come up and be realistic about it! Sit down and look at your place from both your perspective and your significant other’s perspective and try to do the same for his place as well!  It’s always important to try to look at it from their perspective, which can be difficult!

    When Nick and I had the initial discussion about where we were going to live I made a list about all of the financial reasons why my apartment made the most sense, not even considering there is a lot more to this situation than finances.  Sometimes the living arrangement that makes the most financial sense, isn’t the correct answer.  His place was not an option, because he lives in New York City and parking is NOT fun over there and I need a car to get to work.  We ended up with option C: a spanking new place for the both of us!

Here are some things to consider when deciding where you should live together as a couple:

*Finances- Is one apartment, or a new apartment more fiscally responsible? That’s something to consider
*Distance- A central location for both of your jobs is definitely preferable.
*Size- Be realistic.  Minimalism may be trendy right now, but if you aren’t a minimalist don’t try to squeeze all of your stuff AND their stuff into a studio.
*Comfort- This is a BIG one! Are you truly comfortable at his place? Is he truly comfortable at your place?  We aren’t talking about spending a weekend here- we are talking about spending YEARS!  If one of you isn’t truly comfortable or feel as if you can’t truly be yourself, it’s time to look for an alternative solution.
*Future Goals- will getting a new apartment hinder a common future goal of yours?  Definitely something to keep in mind
*Time frame- how long do you plan on staying?  If the realistic plan is a short period of time it may not make sense to relocate both of you

Again, this is just my take on this and my personal experience. 
 Different strokes for different folks!! 

How I Cut The Cord With Cable (and why I’m mending that cord now)

    A few months back I decided it was finally time to cut the cord with cable.  I was getting so tired of my cable bill continuing to go up when the service stayed exactly the same.  I was paying around $130 a month for internet service, home phone (which I never used) and about 50 channels total.  This just seemed outlandish to me.
   
     A few friends of mine and some relatives cut the cord and just used Netflix or a similar service.  However, due to the fact that I am a massive sports feign, this did not suit me.  I also hate being out of the loop when it comes to my trashy reality tv!

     Playstation Vue became the ideal solution for me.  I currently have the “Core” plan which is $45 a month.  This includes a large majority of the channels I watch on a regular basis: basic cable channels, USA, Bravo, OWN and my sports networks!

     Unfortunately, my local cable provider is still tremendously expensive when it comes to internet service.  I end up only saving between $15-$20 a month by using my cable provider’s internet and Playstation Vue.  However, I am still saving around $200 a year which is a big bonus!  I also find myself not flipping as mindlessly as I used to with cable.  If there’s nothing legitimately on I will put on a show on demand or watch a Youtube video instead.  I truly love Playstation Vue and would recommend it to anyone who is looking for anyway to lower their expenses.

   With that being said, when my fiancee and I move in together we are reconnecting that cord.  Why??  Most cable providers, including mine, offer such fantastic deals for the first two years of a contract that a monthly bill comes out to be less than an internet + Vue deal!  We will take advantage of the promotional pricing and when it returns to “normal” pricing we will switch back to our Playstation Vue!

Speaking of Playstation Vue, 
would anyone be interested in a tutorial post on how to use the system??

Playing House Series: Making The Decision

        Yay! My first official blog series!  The Playing House Series will be all about making the decision to move in with your significant other.  This series will cover all of the steps leading up to moving in together and the actual process of moving in together.
         This is just my personal take on this situation!  I am not a life coach or therapist or anything like that so this is just my personal advice and my personal experiences with this.  Just wanted to post that disclaimer!
       The first post in this series is all about the most important step and that’s making the decision to move in together!

Image from equityapartments.com
  • Why are you making the decision to move in together?                                                                   Is it because you are in a serious committed relationship and you’ve talked about the direction the relationship is going in?  You’re both on the same page? Excellent! If you are in a committed relationship and haven’t discussed future plans, I feel that’s an important step prior to moving in.  You want to make sure you have common goals for your relationship.
  • Is it just a financial decision?                                                                                                            Moving in together can be a great way to save some cash and lighten a financial burden.  However, if it’s the main reason why you are moving in with a significant other it can lead to some other, non-financial problems later on.  Don’t try to force a puzzle piece that doesn’t fit simply to save some cash.
  • Is moving in together going to help or hurt your relationship?                                                   I will be the first to admit that I am needy mofo.  I spent so much time alone as a child that I crave time with loved ones now (don’t get me wrong, I still need my me-time!).  However, there are plenty of people who love being in a relationship, but still need to retain some of their independence.  If moving in together will make you uncomfortable it will undoubtedly lead to some problems in the relationship department.  Make sure that any decision you make, whether living apart or together will benefit and not harm your relationship.
  • Don’t worry what others think                                                                                                           There is no timeline for a perfect relationship.  I don’t think rushing into anything is wise, but everyone’s definition of “rushing” is something different.  As long as you and your partner have thought and spoke things out, and you are making a decision based on love and common goals for the future, I say go for it!